The Apple That Fell Far From The Tree: A Letter to Those Who Hate Their Parents

To think that you are free from influence is one of the biggest lies you can tell yourself.

We did not just ‘become’. We were all shaped, molded and infused with ideas that were developed by the events and influences that surround our lives.

To think that you are controlled by the authority over you, is another lie you can tell yourself.

They say that we echo the voice of our parents and mirror their actions but what if all you remember are those ruthless statements that they screamed into your ears?

Would you still call them your role models?

Here’s a letter to those who hate their parents:

Recognize that your parents did not shape you, their values and principles did.

I don’t know about you, but it is much more liberating to think of it that way.  I guess, that I’m at a point in my life where I’ve started to humanize my parents.  I’ve come to understand how vulnerable they are to make mistakes.  I’ve come to understand they too, have been hurt, and they too have scars.  But no matter how weak and frail they felt, they still tried to cover it all up to make our world as appealing as possible.

Those attempts may seem non-existent, but that’s not true.  It’s just invisible.

Look around you, the world is in chaos. Just when you think that things can’t get any worse, the world will never fail to surprise you.

Plus, if you ever feel exposed, it reveals the fact that you were once sheltered too.

Recognize that it’s not too late to find yourself a good source of influence.

Your parents were not perfect, dear friend, but they tried.  I am not denying the degree of pain and hurt they have brought upon you but they really did try.

Even if they didn’t, let it go.  You are a grown person.  Hold on to the good principles that they have taught you and leave the bad behind.

Forgiveness will often come easier after their apology, but that’s out of your control now, is it?

Whether or not that day will come, don’t allow that bitterness to imprison you.  Could it be, that the bitterness that they projected onto you is the result of their parents’ actions too? Regardless, surround yourself with inspirational people, and fulfilling events.  It’s all out there awaiting your discovery.

Recognize that the blame game will only fuel hate.

I get it, it was their fault.  You may feel trapped, or feel like you’re becoming the very monster that you’re running away from but the day you stop defining yourself based on their mistakes is the day you can become who you really are.

In fact, the blame game is often a reflection of our unwillingness to deal with our problems.  Are you courageous enough to believe for a change?

Cause chains of bad patterns and bad behavior can be broken, I don’t need to be a genius to tell you that.

Stop hating, and start looking beyond the conflict and hostility.  It’s not gonna be easy, but loving the difficult requires a recognition that love is the core of everyone’s desires and needs.  Even if they don’t seem like they deserve it.

As you learn to live and understand life, maybe one day, you’ll love your parents a little more too.

You can be that apple that fell far from the tree.  But remember to appreciate the tree that enabled the formation of your being.