If you’re tired of fighting for your purity, make some tea, get comfy, and repeat this after me.
“I am not a waste of time, nor a backup plan
I am not only pretty if, only worthy when
I am not too pure, or too demanding
Too critical, too intimidating
Too tough, too girly
I am not
The fantasy in your head.”
The characteristics of reoccurring content in the web space today are appealing and toxifying. It’s creating a world of fantasy that isn’t real. It lures people to follow a checklist of unrealistic standards to reach a Utopian destination that doesn’t exist. And how does it work?
The likelihood of you to ‘click’ a post→ the likelihood of it to repeat on your screen
[Internet algorithms alters according to your interest (desire)]
The more it repeats →the more it is normalised
[Your desires are normalised]
The more it is normalised → the more it is seen as ‘natural’
[Your desires seem natural]
Now that, is the scary part.
According to recent research, the process of normalization is powerfully subtle. It functions behind one’s habit of indulging in what’s sensational, desire to be culturally relevant and crave to be widely accepted.
And before you know it, people just start to believe things.
It happens so easily, so fast. Everything is crazy, yet everything is normal. The wrong can be right with an emotional explanation, and the right is ‘debatable’ if it’s not favourable.
But you’ve tried so hard, haven’t you?
You’ve held on to the everlasting truth, and you’ve refrained from following the crowd. You’ve stood firm, but sometimes when it gets lonely even you, start to wonder if it’s worth it.
Like maybe they’re right; maybe you’re being overly self-protective. Nonetheless, ask yourself, what’s so wrong with guarding your heart and mind?
1. You don’t need to succumb to beauty standards.
The culture industry (industries with supply-driven nature) exploits psychology and defined beauty to drink your money; porn distorts beauty. You my dear, are fabulous enough to rock the runway any day.
2. You don’t need to hide your strength to satisfy the ego of men.
In a relationship, it’s never a power-struggle, but a power-union (source). A real man will celebrate your strength knowing that you’ll celebrate him for who he is as well.
3. You’re not trying to prove your worth.
You already know your worth and you don’t need any validation. People are entitled to their opinion, and you’re entitled to ignore it.
4. You’re not being ‘too holy/ religious’.
Don’t be bothered by their cynicism. The peace you have, they want it; they just don’t know it yet (source). When they do ask, tell them the list of things God told you to stop caring about, and how it eliminated so much stress and anxiety from your life.
5. You’re changing for the better
If you feel like you’re always battling, that’s great! It means you’ve decided to stay in the fight. Don’t give in because of one comment, one joke or one guy that walked away. Protecting your heart should be intentional, and needless to say, it is hard work.
Your gradual transformation is the result of how much trash you threw out, and how deeply you’re still being pursued by your Heavenly Daddy. The enemy will always try his best to distract you, but just remember what you have! The joy, the clarity, the peace, it has been rewarding and you know it.
On the flipside, never become unreachable. Persevere in guarding your purity, focus on ‘whatever is true, noble, right, lovely, admirable, and if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things‘, but never become ‘too good for anyone’.
Unlawful acts will upset you, deceptive principles will irritate you; but it should only increase your passion for people, not your urge to be judgemental (source).
Most importantly, you’re never alone. If you don’t have a good friend, reach out! It’s not weird I promise. There are many of us in the same battle. We’re here, we’re there, we’re somewhere and we’re always willing to lend a listening ear.
“You’re not a fantasy, you’re real.
You have flaws but you’re not frail.
You’ve been saved by the King of Kings
And you wear your scars on your sleeves.”
I’m your sister and I live across your screen. Hoping that you’ll delight in purity with me because despite what they say, the grass is truly greener on our side.
Do not be misled, my beloved brothers and sisters. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow [d]cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].
P.S. If you’re a guy, share this with a sister who needs some encouragement! 😀 We’re #InThisTogether; men are not fantasies too.