Testimony by Alexandrea Chan, Malaysia.
As an IGCSE student, academics were always a dread for me. The switching of syllabus I had to face made it hard for me to cope with it. When I was in Year 9, I failed a criterion that was crucial to enter Year 10. I was so close. But my parents didn’t understand and they nagged and compared me to my other classmates.
“Why can’t you be like them?” , they would always say.
They don’t know how hard it was, and they didn’t understand that different people have different ways of learning. How could they compare me to my classmates who were in a different stream? (I was in Arts Stream, they were in Science Stream). I had a fear towards the subject of Mathematics. When it came to exams, be it assessments, midterm or year-end finals, somehow I would always fail my Maths paper. And when that happens, I would always fear the reaction of my parents. It was discouraging. I lost self-confidence.
As time went on, and work piled up, I became increasingly overwhelmed. When I moved on to year 10, the stress I had gave me sleepless nights. I felt so much pressure that I thought of ending everything. It felt like I was sailing in a boat on rough waters, with a storm that would not calm down. Thankfully, God sent me Godly close friends who allowed me to pour out my feelings to them.
Even then, the challenges increased when I went moved to a new city. In a short time, I had to adapt to a new school environment filled with new people. I gathered my courage to initiate friendships but things turned out bitter as well. Students there verbally backstabbed me, and some would behave as if I didn’t exist. They even made up fake stories about me and a boy, and the rumor spread to everyone in the same batch as I was. I got so mad. Time and time it happened, till I knew that I couldn’t do this on my own anymore.
On the first day of 2017, I surrendered everything into God’s hands. I told myself that I shouldn’t keep the anger inside. I knew that it would be like moss that grows nonstop. Knowing that I had to sit for my IGCSE exams, I had no choice but to push myself and place my trust fully in Him. I began to realize that through this experience of totally surrendering everything, placing my trust, and relying on Him, everything fell into place like a jigsaw piece that fits the incomplete puzzle. This realization also gave me more self-control, and my life had turned 360 degrees.
The results of my IGCSE were released recently and I received a credit for Maths. To God be all the glory!
Yes, I did grow up in a Christian household, but God never promised an easy life.
In fact, sometimes a change isn’t so bad. It tests your patience and endurance in different situations. No matter what it may be, God has ensured us that He will not bring us to a place where we will not be able to get out from.
If you are going through a hard time and if you think that no one is with you, remember that God is right by your side. He has said He will never leave nor forsake you and He is one who keeps His promises. If you feel defeated, tell your situation that God is bigger than it. Tell yourself that you are not a victim but a victor. God can turn a mess into a message, which can His way of teaching you a lesson that you need.
In conclusion, I can ensure you God never fails. I encourage you to view things in a different perspective. Instead of thinking that you’re stuck, proclaim that you will rise up.
“It is not by might nor by power but by My Spirit, says the Lord.”
I pray that you will come out of your situation stronger than you were before. I’m here, standing with you as we are all God’s children and we’re one family.