“ Seriously, how did I get here?”
You can’t exactly point out when you started feeling like this, nor can you figure out how it started. You were motivated, and you tried to do everything the best way you could and for the most part, things turned out – decent.
And so you kept going, you could make do with decent. You thought that your life was okay cause people told you to be grateful, and you concluded that decent is the average standard to fit the description of a ‘good life’ because it kept you surviving.
But deep down, despite the highlights of your Instastories and praises you were getting, you still feel a void, one you can’t quite put to words but you know that something is keeping you unsatisfied.
And that, frustrates you. What could you have possibly done wrong?
As we grow up, we start looking for stability, but when we can’t find it, we’ll resort to find it in temporary pleasures to get by. They’re called temporary pleasures because the momentary happiness and relieve that is experienced isn’t one that will stay for the long run.
This is not a discussion about drugs. This boils down to the simple things you do to get your mind distracted. Like the excessive attention you’re seeking from your partner, or the comedies you binge watch – hoping that your own laughter will drown the questions that whisper in your head.
You’re doing all you can but nothing seems to be flourishing out of it. And if life isn’t getting better, then what on earth are we living for?
There are voids in you that no one can fill. And it’s a void that begs you to explore it.
Life is already difficult as it is. So when it comes to making “easy” and “difficult” choices, we would choose the easier options feeling like we deserve it because our poor heart has been through enough. Nonetheless, the choices that seem easier in the moment, are illusory. You decide to do something in an instant of weakness because it seems dreadful or difficult to choose the option that you know is better.
Here’s the thing -that pattern of thought may seem harmless, but it’ll usually lead you to remain numb to the habits that aren’t even beneficial for you anymore. Before you know it, the repetitive habits that are subtly destroying you will mount up to your search for your own integrity.
In times as such, let us sit ourselves down, and check our hearts.
You may be indulging in self-pity
Who’s in control – you or your feelings?
How you feel can affect how you see. And we’ve often become a victim to our own feelings.
We’re not that lost, but sometimes we complain that we are, because we’ve been pampered by those who cuddle us as we wallow in self-pity.
Life does not, and will not always go your way – but it’s mostly for your own good.
Ouch? Yes, ouch. Before you get defensive, realize that we may be surrounded by those who either don’t care enough to tell you the truth, or those who are afraid of calling you out because of how you accused them of being insensitive the last time they did so.
‘Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
he breaks out against all sound judgment.
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
but only in expressing his opinion.’
Proverbs 18: 1-2
Don’t let your past define you; don’t label yourselves based on your condition. Don’t confine yourselves by only associating with those who’d just agree with everything you say.
Misery loves company; but misery isn’t a friend.
Misery hates sacrifice; misery is blind.
Misery is bad company.
It’s time to reevaluate your friends again. If what they said struck a chord in you, were they telling you out of love?
Those who truly suffered, and still succeeded in the end, were those who made a personal choice not to feel sorry for themselves. In fact, they became Todd White, Elizabeth Smart , Christine Caine and many other influential people we respect today.
Your opinion is not the truth.
Truth is not a river, truth is a rock – Lisa Bevere.
Truth isn’t something you flow along with, it is unbreakable and unchangeable no matter how much you reject or ignore it.
We’re not that lost, sometimes we just don’t like the solution. We tell ourselves that we’re looking for an answer, but the Answer is often waving at us. You see, we choose to look past it because we don’t like the sound of it. We choose to look past it because when we weigh out the amount of change required, in comparison to the misery we’re involved in, we suddenly conclude that our little prison isn’t that bad.
As a result, from a quest of finding the Truth, the light that’ll never burn out, we resort to squinting in search for a light in the dark. We’ll resort to taking painkillers by lighting up a candle that’ll keep us warm for a while but we all know that the candle will soon burn out.
What happens next? We get stuck in a vicious cycle of self-pity and wilderness all because we didn’t like The Answer.
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.” ‘
The obstacle that’s in your way, is you.
Self-fulfilling prophecy – a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come true.
In other words, it is universally proven we’ll always find what we’re looking for.
We’re not that lost, we do know a road that’ll lead us to a greater understanding of ourselves and the world around us but we know that it requires a new level of discipline. A discipline to see things through a different lens.
We are designed to search for what we desire. Nonetheless, when we search for what we want from the wrong source, we are deceived to think that happiness has a timer.
That once the time is up, we’ll have to sacrifice a part of ourselves, to escape and suppress the feelings we don’t want to admit.
You’re not that lost, it’s time to change your source. A source that will never fail, a source that’ll meet all your needs and a source that will love you all the days of your life.
‘But from there you will search again for the LORD your God.
And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him.’
Change your source.
It’ll make all the difference. Changing your source requires you to change how you see and how you think.
Maybe it’s time for you to expose yourself to things that challenge your worldviews. Get yourselves some friends that love you enough to challenge you. Embrace the fact that you’re not always right.
‘He who trusts in his own heart is a fool,
But he who walks wisely will be delivered.’
Change requires us to give up something we’re used to, change requires us to let go of a routine we’ve settled in. Change requires us to move from the comfortable spot we’ve found in our mess.
Change begins with a confession, and it is shaped by our obedience to the unwavering Truth. Inner change takes place when you resist the urge to believe contemporary/cultural standards, to be transformed by the life-giving Word of God – a standard that’ll flourish you to discover who you were meant to be.
And change will only be visible after a dreadful and long period of discipline, commitment, and consistency, which will all be absolutely worth it in the end.
Friends, we’re never entirely lost, because we have a kind and loving God. One that has been watching over you, and orchestrating events in your life for you to notice that he is knocking on the door of your heart.
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